Movie Reviews: London Has Fallen

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London Has Fallen directed by Babak Najafi

Just in case moviegoers were confused whether or not London Has Fallen was a sequel to Olympus Has Fallen, the marketing folks made sure to clarify that. With White House Down, Air Force One, the last season of 24, and Vantage Point all telling similar stories, the movie populace could have easily confused this for one of those Redbox Ripoff movies. You know, the low budget films shot for under a million bucks in an attempt to bait and confuse people.

To me, I think I might have been more entertained with the Redbox Ripoff flick.

I mean, how many times can a President be put under siege with the only guy to save him is his best friend and secret service agent. What are the odds? And let’s be honest, what is the point of it all when there is a line of succession? (Ironically enough the plot of the latest Jack Bauer Keifer Sutherland TV show) Heads of State are important people, but in Democracies, there is really little point.

I know, the classic “Revenge at all costs” plot makes it clear that logic isn’t the point of motive.

If you want to watch this film, go ahead. Turn off your brain. You might as well play some Call of Duty in my opinion because at least that has some inventive storytelling.

The movie does have some pretty kick ass special effects, mostly in the attack sequence. But with that said, some of the effects were downright CGI-ish. Morgan Freeman was pretty good playing himself. Gerard Butler picks up another paycheck. I assume he has pretty much given up trying to be a real actor. Aaron Eckhart plays the typecast role that was predominant of the 80s and 90s.

I did beat Call of Duty Advanced Warfare on the same night I watched this. Kevin Spacey made for a better villain.

Movie Rating: 2/10 London Bridges

Movie Reviews: Die Hard

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When people ask me what my favorite action movie is, I tell them Die Hard.

When people ask me what my favorite Christmas movie is, I tell them Die Hard.

When people ask me wha my favorite romance is, I tell them Die Hard.

People think I’m strange.

This classic is three genres all rolled up into one explosive holiday film that makes everyone kind of root a little bit for the masterful Alan Rickman and his quest for a big ass payday and a life on the beach collecting twenty percent. The story is a little bit fish out of water, and a little bit one man vs. the world and every copycat afterwards was a “Die Hard in on a boat” (Under Siege or Speed 2) or “Die Hard with the President on a Plane” (Air Force One) or “Die Hard with the President” (Olympus has Fallen or London has Fallen or White House Down) or the many other variations. Many have tried to replicate the essence of what is Die Hard, but none has matched it, not even Bruce Willis.

Maybe it was Nakatomi Tower. Maybe it was blowing it up. Maybe it was the broken glass or crawling through air ducts. Maybe it was the sheer odds or the overzealous FBI or incompetent Police Chief. Maybe it was Sgt.Powell as a sidekick with a massive guilt trip or Karl as a man out for revenge. Maybe it was John somehow finding a way to mend his relationship through all obstacles. The movie has something for everybody, with director John MicTiernan showing off his finest work.

One time, while on a cruise with my girlfriend at the time, I rushed through the midnight pizza bar in a rush. The pizza maker on the top deck asked me if I was enjoying the club below. I shook my head and said, “Nope, Die Hard just came on the tv in the room. I gotta get back down now.” The pizza man looked at me inquisitively and nodded slowly. I think maybe he understood, or thought I was a strange late night guest. The next night when I went to grab a midnight pizza the guy asked me how the movie was, and although I had seen it maybe twenty-five times by that point in my life, I said the only thing on my mind.

“Yippee-Ki-Yay.”

Movie Review: 11/10 (off the damn charts)