Travel Blog (Vegas Adventure Part 1)


I’m going to test out live blogging. My annual Las Vegas trip started a few hours ago, and I figured I would write about this key experience. A full disclaimer, I used to live in Las Vegas so I know the town pretty well. 

Why am I going in June? Well, the World Series of Poker is this month and many walks of life from around the world descend on Vegas which makes all the games and antics pretty entertaining. Simply put, for poker players this is their Super Bowl month. 

Will I only be playing poker? Nope. (Especially if I go on losing streak that makes Pauly Shore’s career collapse look pleasant) I do have other things planned that you’ll have to stay tuned to see.


How did I pack? Pretty light. I don’t know what I needed to bring,  so I packed a few of everything. I wanted to go light. I can always buy stuff here on Maryland Blvd behind the strip. I briefly lived in an interesting place there, right near UNLV. I could write 28 novels from the stuff I saw and heard in that area (where dreams go to die).

To start, I wanted to give a little travel hacking information. I booked last minute flight and searched all the airlines and Travel sites. I booked a $177 (with all taxes and fees) roundtrip flight from San Antonio to Las Vegas. This was 75% cheaper than the major carriers plus it was a direct flight with no layover (score). 


I might sound paranoid, but I questioned the rock bottom pricing of Allegiant. I was wondering if it had hamsters powering those engines, but nope, the flight was actually pretty good. The takeoff and landing were pretty smooth and I didn’t feel in danger at all, unlike the last time I flew on American Airlines. I swear, the pilot almost flipped our plane in “turbulence” on my flight in April to Mississippi.

The downside of Allegiant? They charge for everything. Do you want a carry on? Boom $50. Do you want them to print your boarding pass? Boom $5. Do you want a coke on the plane? Boom $2.

This resulted in the strangest thing I’ve seen this year on a plane. Only like 5 people chose not to be total cheapskates and paid to put their luggage in the overhead bins. Only maybe 5 people bought a drink on a 2.5 hour flight. 

So what is the plan? I rented a car and have no place to stay for the first 4 days. Yep. You heard that right. I’m a nomad for a while. There was a major pricing anomaly with one of the hotels which I’ll discuss next week when I check in. I got a hotel package with the airline deal the last 5 days. For now, I’m just a man and a luggage bag in the city of sin. 

Will I slum it at a stank place the first 4 days? (Circus Circus or Stratosphere I’m looking at you) Will Priceline give me a sweet deal when I search later? (Pleeeeeease) Will I win a million bucks on the Wheel of Fortune slot and get the penthouse? (Odds are 1/25,000,000) 

Check in and comment on what I should do the next 7-10 days. I’ll be live tweeting nothing but Vegas observations the next week. 

Foodie Review: Nachos at the Bowling Alley


What do you do when you walk over at lunch for a quick bite at the bowling alley and they are so popular the wait is 25 mins for grill grub?

You order some nachos.

I was on the go, I didn’t have that kind of time to wait, so going to a tried and true staple takes me to my childhood.

I was a total weirdo as a kid. I would walk from my house at the age of 10 about a mile to the bowling alley after a quick stop in a store to buy a G.I. Joe. This is happiness at 10 back in 1989-1992.

I was a lone traveler even then. That was a different era when 10 year olds could roam around stores and go to bowling alleys by themselves and nobody gave a shit. Entertainment? Go play outside and come back when it gets dark, unless you are playing flashlight tag, in that case, it doesn’t matter.

In the summers, I would be all sweaty from walking, and would stroll in the bowling alley, walk up to the counter, and order nachos. I’m not sure what the culinary appeal of the bowling alley grill is. Usually teenagers man the counter and the grill itself appears to be from the Great Depression; it doesn’t matter. Day after day people stick their fingers in loaner bowling balls and then eat bowling alley finger foods like this. They drink beer, tell stories, and have a good time. These are my kind of people.

The bowling alley serves food for the common food palette. Ain’t no cheesecakes and lettuce wraps and prime rib being served here. Nope.

So as an adult with a career, why the hell do I stop at the bowling alley? It’s simple; it is sure the hell cleaner than any fast food joint. If I want a quick burger, they actually put a patty on the grill and cook it in front of my eyes. Burger King coats their patties in some weird “flamebroil” sauce and sticks it in a warmer. And when I say patties, the bowling alley uses real stuff from sysco or something. I have no idea what Burger King uses. I’m convinced the secret “flamebroil” sauce is actually leftover jet fuel from the NASAs space shuttle program. McDonald’s? Nobody knows what the hell is in that patty. Is it 50% grade Z meat mixed with sawdust? Who knows. What I do know is that it is essentially a microwaved turd.

Yes, I know. I should go to Five Guys and pay $17 for a meal. I’m on a budget as a penniless writer. $3.50 is more my price point.

I always feel sick 30 mins after eating McDonald’s. Always. Burger King I feel sick around 3 mins after realizing it was yet another fucking mistake to order a #1 meal. I tried their frap last week and felt sick after one sip of whatever the hell that was.

How many times have I felt sick eating at the bowling alley?

Zero.

Imagine that.

Foodie Reviews (Kentucky Fried Chicken, San Antonio, TX)

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You all are weird as hell. You really loved the Chuck E Cheese post? Well here you go, share this with your friends. I’m all about keeping things honest and real just like my movie reviews.

Why review a fine dining experience at a 5 star restaurant when you can eat an American classic. Colonel Sanders would buy a new white suit if he could see how far and vast his little chicken empire has expanded. I mean, there are over 19 thousand KFC’s keeping that top secret recipe under close guard every day.

I don’t know what this means. I noticed some people in Lithuania are loving the Chuck E Cheese experience, so maybe there is some new fad where people in other countries enjoy reading about our dining establishments the way our travel bloggers go to food markets and take a shit load of pictures and video footage of street vendors. Next time you watch the travel channel, notice the looks the locals give. They are wondering why the hell we even care about their food.

Think about it. This blog is less weird than stuff on the travel channel (disclaimer: My blog only recently began, there is no telling what the future might bring)

In any case, I picked up the “Big Box” meal (#10 for you fast food junkies out there). I didn’t just go to just any KFC, but visited one that doubled as a Taco Bell too. It doesn’t get more American than that if you ask me. Plus the synergy  of combining a bonafide taco factory with a fried chicken emporium would’ve made Oppenheimer proud.

For $7.99 plus tax, I was able to pick up a box full of 3 pieces of fried chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes w/gravy and a drink. I picked up two of them, because I eat like Jabba (or I got one for the woman I was with, you decide the truth).

So what is in the box?

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It was a “heart attack in a box” but tasty as hell, especially after a long day outside. We watched Game of Thrones and pigged out and I ate every damn thing inside.

The Colonel would be proud.

Foodie Rating: ?? (It doesn’t matter after a long day at the waterpark)

Foodie Review: Chuck E Cheese’s (San Antonio, TX)

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Why the hell am I doing a foodie review for Chuck-E-Cheese?

To tell you the truth, I don’t know. Is this where writer dreams go to die?

We’ll see.

The truth is, I randomly posted a few foodie reviews this past week on a whim, because I visited a few cool places recently, and did get some gift cards to Pei Wei, but my daily views on those were actually double of my new movie reviews. With little promotion on Twitter, they are still my most viewed blogposts a few days later, so I am testing to see if people just like reading whatever comes to mind.

So what is this bizarre place?

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This is a place I wanted to go for my 8th birthday. I still remember the story. My parents called to book the place, and it was all booked. Chuck E Cheese himself would not visit my table. We pressed on bravely, and my mother baked a fucking chocolate cake and we invited my friends and we all went there anyways.

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Things have changed since then. You buy pizza and tokens in packages (the discount is given with 80 tokens) with the mirage that this is a good deal. Most of the games in the arcade are essentially gambling games where you do various things for tickets. The biggest scores you can get is 250 tickets, if you hit 1/200 odds. If you have an extremely lucky day and somehow accumulate 7500 tickets in one magical session, beating the average of 4-10 tickets per game, what can you get? One frozen action figure that costs around $15 at Walmart.

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Anyways, back to the foodie review. We ordered a couple pizzas. This was the pepperoni pizza. Behold the weird pizza slice cuts. You can always recognized a Chuck E Cheeze pizza by the unorthodox pizza slicing; it’s almost as if the pizza cutter closes their eyes and cuts. Eating the pizza and rating it is more of an exercise of not saying if it is good or bad, but ranking it. To me, the pizza is maybe a slot higher than Cici’s pizza and frozen grocery store pizza, but a step lower than Little Caesers pizza, which I consider below the big 3 (Papa Johns, Pizza Hut, Dominos).

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Watching your weight? Chuck E Cheese also sports a pretty good looking salad bar. It was constantly getting refilled from tubs that I assume come from some food distributor. I thought the presentation was actually surprisingly clean for what I expected. Taking a quick glance around, I discovered why: The salad bar was the furthest distance from the arcade and there wasn’t a kid within 40 feet, so this was likely the cleanest area in the entire place.

So how was the food? Eh, the pizza might be a 4/10. But how was it while watching the kid running around like a maniac trying to win tickets? Eh, the quality of the pizza didn’t really matter, now did it?

If you enjoy me just blogging on anything instead of focusing on movies, like and share and leave a comment below. I have some big trips coming up and can keep sharing whatever happens.