Movie Reviews: Ocean’s Eleven

Oceans Eleven directed by “SS” 

I used to like films by “SS” that is, before he resorted to Magic Mike. Before that, he was the innovative filmmaker with “Sex, Lies, and Videotape” and “Out of Sight.” Oceans Eleven is when he hit the big time with an ensemble cast that can’t really fail even if they hired somebody off the street to direct it (Even that douchebag behind the last Fantastic 4 could have made this … Well, maybe)

Simply put, this is a hesit-by-the-numbers film. 

But it works, because it is done with charisma. Charm. I don’t know. Everything is so positive. Danny Ocean just got out jail, but he is a swell guy because he can recruit the hippest crew to rob the biggest make-believe casino vault (ludicrous in that the properties are not even under the same company nor near eachother, as many of you who have walked the strip before would know). 

But who cares, we root for them because they are cool and hip and money is cool. If they were thugs or gangsters this would not be as entertaining. But because Danny Ocean is doing it for a girl, (robbing a casino is the fastest way to a girl’s heart, right?) we root for him. 

I liked this movie when it came out and I still do. 

Although I contend the plot of the movie is simple and is purely built on the charisma of its actors. I recently got rejected pretty bad from the blacklist for my script with a heist as part of the plot, and some poor excuse of a reviewer told me in my review (which you can read on my blog) is that Tony Benedict is an even more evil person than Danny and that’s why we like Danny. 

Bullshit. 

That reviewer is an amateur hack because the movie didn’t even make an attempt to make Tony (Andy Garcia) look bad. He just manages a casino. He got conned for one comment about Julia Roberts at the exact right time and he was bad? 

If there is a con story or heist story we always root for them if they are the main characters and especially if they are funny. Only if the main character is the person stopping it, (first character introduced), do we root for them. Trust me, the trope works from Die Hard to Paul Blart.

I know how to break down stories and the mechanics behind film. Whoever is introduced in the first 10 minutes is who the audience is supposed to root for, unless it is a horror film of some sort, because in that trope they have to show some scary stuff early on so that we know the MC will be in danger. 

With that said, the movie is entertaining and fun. I like everyone from Bernie Mac to Don Cheedle to Casey Affleck in the supporting roles. I like how Brad Pitt aka Rusty is eating in almost every scene before the heist. I like the switcheroo at the end. 

I know, this is another weird movie review but it’s coming from me, right? Maybe I should rename my reviews as commentary.

Movie Rating: 9.5/10 S.W.A.T trucks. 

Movie Reviews: Fight Club

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Fight Club directed by David Fincher

The first rule about Matt’s Movie Reviews is you don’t talk about Matt’s Movie Reviews. You’ve all done a fantastic job respecting this first rule. The only viral post I’ve had wasn’t a movie review at all, it was Game of Thrones fan theories regarding Hodor. I have to stay underground as a rogue reviewer, so thank you for not forwarding or retweeting or posting any of my bizarre reviews on Facebook or other social media. The last thing I would want would be underground movie review clubs sprouting up all across the country.

Back to the movie; Fight Club is one of my favorite films. It is always ranked in my top 5 because of how well it holds up. Maybe I was the appropriate age when I first saw it in college. Maybe its my generations mantra, not really the need to get back to basics of genetic evolution, but rather, the world of commerciality we are stuck in as humans. I’ve watched this movie maybe 25 times in my life, twice with commentary tracks. I’ve read the book twice. I’ve watched all those corny videos of all the mistakes in the film. The film has aged well.

So let’s get to the real question. Who would I fight?

Bruce Lee

Why? What kind of story is it to fight Shatner or Gandhi? That isn’t impressive. If you had one choice, why not go to the top of the mountain? Maybe some of you will pick Chuck Norris, it doesn’t matter. Be bold, be brave, be a badass.

The casting is perfect. Ed Norton is great. Brad Pitt should have been nominated for an Oscar for this film and competed against Kevin Spacey. Not sure who wins that fight.

This movie it a masterpiece.

Movie Rating: 11/10 Soaps.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER SECRET MOVIE REVIEWS

Movie Reviews: The Big Short

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Imagine a casino. Inside the casino there is a crowd around a single roulette wheel. Instead of thirty-eight numbers on a roulette wheel, imagine there are a million numbers. Then imagine people betting a huge amount of money on a single number. The casino is happy to take all bets because they don’t see how they can lose.

And then someone hits big.

This is what the Big Short is. Housing was considered the safest investment since the 1930’s. The banks packaged loans into mortgage backed securities and CDO’s and synthetic CDOs. A few bright minds bought credit default swaps against it, and won.

Big time.

Huge wins. Like buy a private island big.

The movie goes a long way to explain all of this to us. Margot Robbie and Selena Gomez are used to simplify it for the viewer. We watch Steve Carrell and Christian Bale and a few others figure out the fraud of Wall Street and what they go through to be on the right side of the bet.

The movie has a ton of star power and the acting is convincing. I particularly enjoyed Brad Pitt’s role as a disgruntled ex-banker who has a thing for post-apocalyptic preparation.  For a better movie on the financial crisis, I recommend Margin Call.

GUEST HOST: RICK RHINESTONE FROM RED RHINESTONE CAPITAL

This movie gives Wall Street a bad wrap. The financial engineers are not to be blamed for any of this. The problem were those infomercials telling people to buy houses with no money down and flip-that-house television shows that filled ordinary americans with dreams of richness. Here is a hint people: If you want to get rich, follow me at RED RHINESTONE CAPITAL where you can get in on the ground floor of Red Rhinestones we received from a Prince from Nigeria (who was down on his luck when we came into contact with him and needed our help!). These red beauties are certified by the Prince himself and for a low price of $299.99 you too can get your hands on the best quality red rhinestones in the world! Imagine this. You are cruising the streets with the top down and the wind in your face and you or your lover is rocking the biggest red rhinestone in town. Imagine going to your High School reunion and telling stories of how you got the inside deal on the lucrative red rhinestone market. Call me. Matt has my number. (FACT CHECK: I have Rick’s card, which he shoved under my door much like the Chinese Restaurant Menu from Mr.Wang’s down he street)

Movie Rating: 7/10