Game of Thrones: How will the Wall Fall?

game-of-thrones-the-wall-hbo.jpgThe mystical 300 mile long wall that Bran the Builder built has protected Westeros since the age of Heroes. The 700 foot high wall is blessed with magic to protect the North from the others. Now, the questions readers have been asking for 20 years and show watchers have been asking for 5 seasons is “How will it come down?” (I figured after my Hodor Theory #2 on “Hold the Door” although a slightly different scenario, I might as well speculate some more)

Over the years, I have read numerous fan theories and listened to many show discussions. For now, I will focus on show theories because this is where the momentum of the story is so far, so here are some facts:

A)The Wall is laced with magic that White Walkers can’t pass.

B)The White Walkers seem to avoid open water.

C)The Wall is manned by only a skeleton crew of the Night’s Watch.

D)Bran is still stuck in the tree learning his abilities

E)In the synopsis of the original story submitted to Martin’s agent, in A Dance With Dragons (the proposed second book), Dany was supposed to fly to Westeros with her Dothraki horde following her as she invaded Westeros. The Third book, Winds of Winter, was supposed to address the battle against the White Walkers.

Okay, so there you go. We know very little because we are not sure how much of the history is just legend and myth. My theories on how the wall falls are:

1)The White Walkers will have the zombie spawn (wights) dig holes beneath the wall. They will envelop the remnants of the Nights Watch and respawn them as wights.

2)The White Walkers will use the foretold ice spiders to weave a web to create a bridge over  the wall.

3)Winter will make the world so cold that the oceans freeze. In this scenario, two things can happen: First, Dany can lead her water-fearing Dothraki across the narrow sea so they don’t have to board ships. Second, the White Walkers could simply walk around the wall on the icebed. The new War of the Dawn would ensue, but without the First Men or Children of the Forest. The downside to this theory is that it would lead to the White Walkers attacking Winterfell first while Dany attacks King’s Landing. What would bring Dany north?

4)”Bran Theories:” There is a theory out there that the original wall was really built by giants who were being warged. There are variations that Bran was able to control weirwood trees, and the wall is just an elaboratly tangled weirwood forest covered in snow and blocks of ice. This is the god the Starks have worshipped. Plus the Children of the forest might have some extra special power of the forest. This means with Bran in the tree, he now has the power to bring it down. I argue that it makes perfect sense that if Bran the Builder helped lead the construction of the wall, Bran the Destroyer can help lead the destruction of the wall. It would be perfect symmetry. How does Bran have this power? I argue this is westerosi genetics. I think The Stark line is really a mix of White Walker, which is why they can warg living things, while White Walkers can warg dead things. This is why there will always be a Stark in Winterfell. This is like saying there will always be White Walkers in the Land of Always Winter. Imagine this, the polar opposite warging abilities is a little like yin and yang. They can’t warg each other, but can throw bodies and armies against each other. The only question I would have is can a powerful Stark warg a wight? This would explain why many passages in the crypts beneath Winterfell are blocked with rubble. It is keeping family secrets hidden.

4)Fact A is only a myth, and the White Walkers simply overpower the wall. Castle Black becomes Castle White. The new War of the Dawn would ensue. The three heads of the dragons would assault the fortification and corner them. The dragons could then melt the wall.

5)There are a couple horns that could be the Horn of Winter. One was with Mance Rayder before Stannis and his men overtook his army. The second was found as the Fist of the First Men, and given to Sam. Maybe this is why the horn is on the cover of the proposed The Winds of Winter.





Game of Thrones: What does Hodor Mean?


Who is the friendly half-giant that carries Bran on his back? Why does he say Hodor with every response he gives? With last week’s episode highlighting the fact that when he was young, Willis aka Walder (from the book) use to speak fine and was the trusted stableboy of Winterfell. That got me to think, what the hell does Hodor mean? My first instinct was the correlate it with “Hold the Door” or some variation, and then my mind wandered. I searched online a few days later, and discovered a ton of theories:

1)He is actually saying “R’llohor” but nobody understands him because of his brain damage.

2)”Hold the door.” He was ordered to protect Lyanna by holding the door, but failed, and was kicked or slammed in the head afteward. The door was maybe in the crypts, perhaps the same place where the Bard entered through.

3)There were theories for a few years that Hodor was really Aegon, who had his head smashed against the wall and was left for dead. Then he was brought home by Ned stark, because I guess that is what he does … bring kids back to Winterell. (Negated by Season 6, episode 2 when we see “Willis” as a young man watching Ned Stark fight Benjen.

4)(Via Reddit) “I remember seeing a tinfoil theory a while back saying Hodor is actually Gerold Hightower from the battle at the Tower of Joy, and “Hodor” is him trying to say his own name but he can’t because his brain was fried from Howland Reed warging into him to save Ned’s life.”

5)Kristian Nairn would like to see Hodor be a dragon controlling command.

6)(Via Reddit) Some speculate that Hodor was injured while warging in a horse, then when he warged back, he had brain damage. Another variation is that he died as a horse and Hodor is the subconscious mind that is left, or only part of him came back.

7)Some say that Robert Baratheon smashed his head when he thought Lyanna and him were getting too close, or another variation, he was blamed for not holding the door and hit in the head as retribution for failure.

8)Perhaps he was at the Tower of Joy, helping protect Lyanna as her closest friend and ally, and suffered his injuries there.

9)He is the “great other” that will battle as a God like figure.

10)My crackpot theory: There is tunnel beneath winterfell that goes all the way past the wall. He went down to the crypts fifteen or twenty years ago, and found the crypts of the old dead Starks. He then opened the crypts, which holds the immortal Stark, the creator of everything (the original and most powerful warger, the one who can warg and command the dead) and it escapes. This is why “Winter is Coming” is their house saying, because they know winter is coming because they release the immortal stark everytime a long winter is coming, in order to unite the peoples of westeros. This is why the white walkers and Night’s King don’t kill Starks … they only try to convert them.

11)My crackpot theory: When Lyanna died, she warged into Hodor.

12)My double crackpot theory: As a half giant, Starks have found giants could be warged into by more than one person. So Hodor actually is a host for Lyanna, Ned, Brandon, and Benjen.

What do you think? Could there be more to it?





Fan Theories: Star Wars Episode VIII


Will the force be strong with him still? Will he say something in the sequel? Is Luke still a little traumatized by his kiss with his sister? (If you don’t know, it doesn’t count, now does it?)

After watching Star Wars Episode 7, my mind wandered to where the story would go. This is something that never happened to me after watching the prequels where I couldn’t wait to walk to the exits. As someone who used to read during the peak of its popularity, I know a fan theory or two that blew up after watching Episode 7.

For the seven of you who boycotted the movie because Jar Jar wasn’t in it, I’ll fill you in and ruin it for you. They blew up the Death Star, again. Yes. Instead it wasn’t a Death Star, it was a Death Planet. It was batshit stupid of the highest level, and outside of a new character Finn being the stupidest and most naive ex-stormtrooper this side of the Alderaan system, the movie holds it own as being the best since the original trilogy. If I was to rank it, it would be 4th, only because the beginning on Jakku and end fight between Kylo/Rey was so compelling. I mean, when the music cues up and Rey pulls that lightsaber out of the snow like Luke on Hoth, you can’t but feel the emotional resonance. The only high point to match it was when the screen panned to the left to show the biggest hunk of junk in the galaxy on Jakku. The movie ends with Rey piloting the Falcon with Chewbacca after Han bites the dust, and meets the Macguffin of the film, Luke Skywalker, on some island and hands him his old lightsaber.

What will happen next?

Here are 3 theories:

1)The original script before JJ and Kasdan took the bull by its horns and made a reboot of A New Hope called out for Luke to find Rey on Jakku and heading out on a quest of some sort to Endor. By all that I read, Luke was essentially Obi-Wan guiding Rey to her destiny. Episode 8 could pick up where Episode 7 left off and show them still on the island, but with Rey more powerful than we could have ever imagined. She is obviously a very very very very fast learner. With her new powers, she flies off on the Falcon when she learns her old pal Finn is in trouble and goes to rescue him while Luke pulls a Yoda and fades into midi-chlorian oblivion. Rey then learns it’s all a trap by Snoke, after telling her that she is a clone of Anakin Skywalker, and pits her against Kylo who she easily defeats and he falls off some crazy high place, and she is converted to the Dark Side. Kylo is then rescued by who else, Leia, who feels his pain. Plus, she has a special force power for sensing when someone fell from a high place. This is where Luke’s ghost shows up and the cliffhanger ending leaves us wanting more again. Luke can even give the same mysterious brooding look to Kylo. Is he still pissed about the Knights of Ren thing? Or is he happy he finally turned back? Talk about an awkward intergalactic thanksgiving.

2)While finishing her training, they are hunted down by Captain Phasma, who is all torn up and outcast from the First Order. She is like a crusty and jaded bounty hunter who wants redemption. She lands on the island and a fight ensues. Luke sacrifices himself so that Rey can vanquish Phasma. With Luke now a force ghost, Rey has no choice but to go out and rejoin the resistance. She tells Leia what happened to Luke, and Leia gives her another random hug and tells her that she is her daughter. She gives another friend-zone hug to Finn, who is paralyzed but now is General Finn (because they promote fast-as-hell in the resistance … e.g. General Solo and General Calrissian) The resistance is then tracked down and a giant space battle ensues. Rey’s ship is captured and is defeated in a battle with Kylo. Snoke, on the New Super-Deluxe-with-extra-Cheese Super Star Destroyer gives her a choice. Join him and he will show her where she comes from and tell her where her parents are and they will end the battle, or resist and the resistance will be destroyed, including the crippled cruiser Finn is commanding. She chooses to join him and save her friends.

3)The First Order fleet tracks down the Falcon to the island, and launches an ocean assault on the island. Luke, using his Lucas-crazy powers in some script from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, destroys an entire assault with the force and the audience is like “holy shit, did Luke just do that?” Then Luke and Rey get off the planet and meet with Leia, who he asks again how she remembers her mom being sad, and she says “okay, I lied Luke. You were about to face your crazy ass father on his home turf.” The fanboys nod in approval. Rey asks where Finn is, and is told Finn and Poe went off on a secret mission to find their hidden headquarters but went dark. Luke and Leia and Rey and Chewie go to track them down and find out Poe isn’t randomly the greatest pilot in the galaxy … he is Snoke. What? Did your mind just melt? Who has the power to cheat death? (Poe cheated a Tie Fighter crash death). Who is strong with the force? (Did you see the assault on Starkiller base?) It all comes full circle on why Poe is the man with the plan to find Skywalker. The movie ends with Poe sticking his red lightsaber though Leia while Luke and Rey are off fighting Kylo, who somehow gets turned back to the light side. The movie ends with Poe taking Finn as prisoner by freezing him in carbonite.

Conclusion (And discarded Porkins Theory)

Whichever direction they go, hopefully they will cut one of the senseless parts of Episode 7, Greg Grunberg playing himself. It was clearly one the more stupid parts of the film and a waste of screen time. When I initially heard he was cast, I thought it was going to be throw back to Porkins from the original Star Wars, who blew up, no pun intended. Most of the fanboy sites agreed and accepted the Porkins theory as almost fact, but we got tricked. It was zero nostalgia, and too many scenes of Grunberg, now one of the worst characters since Jar Jar Binks.


Grunberg playing Grunberg


Instead of playing Porkins Jr.

57 Inconceivable things in Star Wars: The Force Awakens