Movie Reviews: Star Trek Beyond

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Star Trek Beyond directed by Justin Lin

I’m going to warn you here, this is a spoilerific rant of Star Trek Beyond. If you have not seen it after 7 weeks in the theater, well … it is your fault for reading this.

What would you get if you crossed Guardians of the Galaxy with Galaxy Quest? I argue that it churns out about 75% of what this film is. It is a gargantuan attempt at attempting to ratchet up the drama a little bit more all while missing the essence of Star Trek. Much like how Star Trek Into Darkness looks silly for the third act of Wrath of Khan switcheroo with Kirk going in the engine room instead of Spock (but leaving people in suspense for 3 seconds by bringing Kirk back immediately unlike the original cliffhanger), Star Trek Beyond takes this up a notch by copying Star Trek III’s pinnacle moment of blowing up and crashing the Enterprise, except, yes, they have to resurrect it at the very end.

So VFC.

Very.

Fucking.

Convient.

You know, don’t worry about this version of Star Trek. If someone dies, they will be brought back immediately. If the ship blows up, a new one will be built in the same movie. The original series is classic, especially II-IV because of the three movie story arc. Kirk commanded a damn bird of prey in Star Trek IV. There was no marketing department saying it would be better to land the Enterprise in San Francisco so lets give Kirk a new ship at the beginning.

Then, I don’t know about you, but in all my science fiction readings, never have I read some prophecy that the Beastie Boys would be the ones to save the galaxy. Are you kidding me? Did they really pull the plot of Ghostbusters 2 out of their ass?

Talk about batshit unbelievable, and not in a good way.

This is not the direction I thought the franchise would go after a successful reboot of the series that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was fresh and new despite being a bit tropey. We all figured a reboot using space time would work because that meant there would be a  real sense of danger since the future would be unknown.

Instead, the franchise is trying to compete with the demographics of Marvel’s audience and foreign box office receipts (and easy dubbing) instead of the traditional fan.

What is the result? Each movie is doing worse in the box office and we all know what happens when returns keep diminishing for a franchise.

Another reboot.

Paramount, if you need a writer, I’m your man.

 

2 thoughts on “Movie Reviews: Star Trek Beyond

  1. Star Trek Beyond gets back to what the reboot does well. It tells a fun action story that acknowledge the past but also that times have changed since then. Hardcore fans of the original series were never going to like this and neither are people who dislike JJ Abrams. If you go into this movie wanting to hate it you won’t be disappointed you never are. However if you go in without any preconceived ideas then you might like it. It is a fun action movie in its own right but it also tells a fairly good story. Three years into the crews five year mission Captain Kirk is doubting his place among the crew and the federation. He is just tired of the routine of space. When the ship docks at a newly designed space station he considers a promotion then the crew is sent on what appears to be a rescue mission but ends up being a whole lot more. This story works on several levels for me. Where Into Darkness made the mistake of trying to tell the story of what was arguably the best of the original movies this remember’s the past by simple acts of nostalgia. No one is ever going to forget that this is a reboot of a cult series so the movie doesn’t either and yet it is smart enough to tell its own story that is relevant to our time. This may not be as good as the first of the reboot but it gets itself back on track for any further reboots that may come..,.beyond this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ll give it props for not trying to reboot Khan again, and the special effects were quite good in the space station, however, it seemingly lacked heart. It is almost like an extended episode with scenes ripped from guardians of the galaxy. Kirk on a motorbike is pure nonsense. The first reboot is quite fantastic but it’s been all downhill.

      In terms of a 3 act plot it actually was a great concept of 1)Destroy the Enterprise (again) 2)Escape & overhaul old ship 3)Rescue and save space station (with twist) when you read it on paper or white board it. It totally comes off as a boring trope on screen.

      Like

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